You can probably crown me the queen of being single. It’s simply something I’m really used to. In fact, the idea of me being in a relationship seems so strange to me. Yeah, I think I’m a great person (modest, I know), but I’ve been single for such a long time that it feels like hell would practically freeze over if there were suddenly a guy in the picture. But anyone who’s been single for a while can certainly attest to joking about that at least once!
In college, there are always couples kissing, holding hands, and just being generally cute, and maybe at some point you wished you had something like that, too—someone to surprise you with your favorite iced coffee (exactly how you like it) at work; someone to walk you to class; someone to laugh with you even when you know you’re not funny. But now you’re probably just fine with living the single life and getting a puppy or two. While relationships can teach you a lot about yourself and the world around you, you can also learn a lot from being single. So if you’ve been single for a while and aren’t sure where you stand, or you’re about to enter college as a single lady or guy, this one’s for you.
Side note: I literally NEVER write about romance and relationships on here, so yay me for trying new things! *applause*
1. You’ll notice how many times people mention their boyfriends or girlfriends in regular conversation.
People talk about their S/O’s A LOT. Good for them for being happy and finding someone, but you’ll definitely notice how little you can contribute to those conversations unless it’s your close friend talking about their partner. There have been so many times when I met new people on campus and they’ll start telling me about some adorable habit their boyfriend has, or something nice their boyfriend did for them once, and I can really only find myself saying, “awww, that’s so cute” because, well, I can’t relate.
2. You’ll probably try using a dating app at some point.
Tinder, Bumble, and whatever else is out there will probably be glued to your hands for a couple of weeks. You’ll go through the excitement of trying something new, the thrill of swiping right on people, the anxiety when you finally get a match, and the annoyance at people who only have group photos with friends up and don’t specify WHICH ONE they are. Then you’ll say screw it and just delete the damn thing because you’re over it. I know people pass a lot of judgement against those who use Tinder, but you never know who you’ll meet — I have friends who have developed strong relationships with the people they met on Tinder!
3. You assume everyone is dating someone.
The earth’s dynamic equilibrium is where everyone on campus has a boyfriend or girlfriend except for you. That’s more or less what you’ll think at least once and pretty much be fine with it. While most of the people you meet seem to be in a relationship, it’s important to remember that NOT EVERYONE in college has a boyfriend or girlfriend. Some people aren’t ready for a relationship and some people simply just don’t want to date, and some people just haven’t found the right person yet. Don’t let your FOMO get the best of you.
4. You’ll sometimes go to events alone.
Your S/O is a special kind of bestie. Maybe your friends hate football and wouldn’t be caught dead at a game, but you can get away with dragging your partner to a game. When you’re not in a relationship, it can be kind of easy to quickly exhaust all your buddy options for events. A lot of your close friends may have gone home for the weekend, or have an exam they need to study for. You learn to attend things by yourself and make your own fun. It’s awkward at first because everyone seems to know everyone there, but you get used to just doing you. It’s good practice because there will be times in life when you just have to suck it up and do things by yourself.
P.S., Football season is among us! Check out my Ultimate Guide To College Game Day just for collegiates!!
5. You’ll become a little more adventurous.
Yes, traveling is a part of it but I was talking about the fact that you’ll want to try new things no matter where you are. Not gonna lie, you’ll run into times when you’re in your room all alone, bored out of your mind, and just wanna have some fun. This can prompt you to let your adventurous side take over, and before you know it, you’ll have tried out every restaurant in the area, gone to all the best museums in the city, and had photoshoots in every beach and/or park within walking distance.
Related: How To Travel Cheaply In Your 20’s
6. It’s all about you.
You probably hear this one a lot, but when you’re single you don’t have to worry about amending your schedule for someone else’s or being sad about leaving your partner behind to travel, and all those other pieces of insight that can basically be boiled down into one common theme: The only two people you have to worry about are you and yourself. Personally, with the semester I just had, I don’t know what I would’ve done if I had been dating someone and I had to keep re-scheduling with him or cutting things short to deal with assignments from my classes. At times, it was difficult to make it to study sessions with my friends because of all the tasks I had to take care of. I’m glad all I really had to worry about was keeping myself healthy so I could do what I had to do.
Related: 20 Ways To Be Healthier In College
7. You can focus on your school work better.
Like I said before, I don’t know how I would’ve balanced a relationship with my course load because this was the most intense, most demanding, most I-wanted-to-cry-every-step-of-the-way semester I’ve ever had. Having a partner to talk to and text can be nice, but it can also sometimes be distracting when you have a lot to do. You’re in college to learn and, yes, have some fun along the way, but it’s much easier to get work done when your phone isn’t blowing up with 80 text messages about meeting his or her family next weekend.
8. You’ll get to spend more time getting to know your friends.
You’ve probably heard the classic story of the girl who gets a boyfriend and forgets her friends even exist. While we were all cautioned against this when we were in like middle school, it still sometimes happens. What’s more is that sometimes your friends may just want to hang out with you — without your boyfriend or girlfriend. Being single gives you the chance to get closer to your friends over wings at BDUBS every Tuesday night, or bond with your books every other night. Friendships are one relationship you definitely can’t forget to form in college.
9. You’d still like to date someone.
I didn’t say the feeling of wanting a relationship would go away. Granted, you won’t be crying yourself to sleep at night thinking about how lonely you are, but dating will eventually become a passing thought you have once in a while. And if you think you learned more about yourself, matured as a person, and are ready to start looking for potential baes, then you’ll be on the lookout (and you’ll probably have your friends on the lookout for you, too).
10. You might actually really like being single.
On the other hand, you could realize that commitment just isn’t for you and you’re ready to take on the world with just you, a coffee mug, and your favorite pair of combat boots.
I know this isn’t my usual type of post, but I really wanted to talk about the single life in college! I hope I made sense and I hope that I gave any of my single college guys and gals out there something to remember. By the way, one of my favorite college bloggers, Caitlyn of College with Caitlyn, has a post with more insight on What It’s Like To Be Single In College. Check it out! 🙂
What’s the best adventure you’ve gone on by yourself?